Time to put away your mittens and uggs away ( no one likes your uggs anyway) and bust out your bathing suit,  cause ART BASEL MIAMI 2013 is  nearly a week away.  Check out our guide to getting hot in Miami for Art Basel 2013.

PARTIES PARTIES AND PARTIES BITCHES!!

Your guide to having the best hangover in Miami during basel 2013

Here is what’s up.

Tuesday December 3^rd.

WHAT:  MOCA x VANITY FAIR PARTY
EXPECT: Red Carpet, Christian Slater
WHERE: MOCA North Miami
RSVP: Guest List, Personal invitation
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN:  20 %

WHAT:  Andre Saraiva X Maurizio Cattelan Cocktail
EXPECT: Hot Italian art girls !!!
WHERE: The Standard Spa, Miami Beach, 40 Island Avenue
RSVP: Guest List, Personal invitation
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN:  20 %

WHAT: WHITE CUBE PARTY
EXPECT: Swank and Swagger, Damien Hirst, British Accents
WHERE: SOHO Beach House
RSVP: Invitation Only
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN: 20%

WHAT: THE ART BASEL PARTY YOU CAN”T GET INTO
EXPECT:  Red Carpet, Everyone you’ve always wanted to be
WHERE: Port of Miami Beach
RSVP: Don’t even try
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN:  – 00000  %

Wednesday December 4th

WHAT:  Andre Saraiva X Damien Hirst Cocktail
EXPECT: Crazy billionaires, skulls
WHERE: The Standard Spa, Miami Beach, 40 Island Avenue
RSVP: Guest List, Personal invitation
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN:  20 %

WHAT:  Afternoon Poolside Le Baron X Colette
EXPECT: Bikinis X cools kids
WHERE: Le Mondrian Poolside
RSVP: Guest List, Personal invitation
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN:  20 %

WHAT:  Chez Andre Miami Day 1
EXPECT: Andre Saraiva, babes, Perrotin, Ullman’s Rock n Roll Karaoke, Paris meets London meets NYC meets LA meets Tokyo vibe
WHERE: Rec Room, 1690 Collins Ave. @17TH
RSVP: Guestlists and tables here: Chez@StandardHotel.com
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN:  40 %

WHAT: AQUA MIAMI VIP PREVIEW
EXPECT:  International Crowd, lots of booze
WHERE: Aqua Hotel
RSVP: Guest list, Invite
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN: 40%

WHAT: KENDRICK LAMAR AFTER PARTY
EXPECT: Hot babes, Kendrick, rumors of GAGA
WHERE: MANA Building Wynwood
RSVP: Guest list
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN: 30%

WHAT: SILENCIO WITH PHARRELL AND TAKASHI MURAKAMI
EXPECT: Dark vibes, Pharell, Good Cocktails
WHERE: Garden Building
RSVP: Mehh, Guest list
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN: 20% 

Thursday December 5 th

WHAT: LV BBQ
EXPECT: Boozy Brunch, Champagne ( obviously), no Kanye
WHERE: Raleigh Hotel
RSVP: Invite only
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN: Tres peu,  Try beach access?

WHAT:  Andre Saraiva X Takashi Murakami Cocktail
EXPECT: Jap Girls, LV Bags…
WHERE: The Standard Spa, Miami Beach, 40 Island Avenue
RSVP: Guest List, Personal invitation
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN:  20 %

WHAT:  CHEZ ANDRE PARTY Day 2
EXPECT: Rock n Roll, Paris Swagger, Andre, Nudity
WHERE: Rec Room
RSVP: Guestlists and tables here: Chez@StandardHotel.com
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN:  40%

WHAT:  DARKSIDE CONCERT
EXPECT: Nicolas Jaar, Hipsters, MD
WHERE: MANA Wynwood
RSVP: Just Buy a ticket http://www.showclix.com/event/3788622
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN: buy tickets

WHAT:  Brooklyn Queer & Gramps X Last.fm Party
EXPECT: Gay Miami meets Gay BK
WHERE: Gramps, 176 NW 24th St
RSVP: guest list / http://eepurl.com/JBqd5
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN: 70%

Friday December 6^th

WHAT:  PAPER MAG AND  TIKI DISCO PARTY
EXPECT: Iggy Azalea, Hotness
WHERE: Gale Rooftop
RSVP: Guest List
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN:  30 %

WHAT: PICA X NIKE PARTY
EXPECT: Good Trainers, West Coast cool
WHERE: Standard Hotel
RSVP:  Invite, or snag a ticket and to the PICA event and do some chin wagging
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN: 40% Portlanders are nice, bring a beard or an offering to the vegan gods

WHAT: RICHIE HAWTIN STORY
EXPECT: Deep House, Pills, Raging
WHERE: Story
RSVP: Get your tickets here http://www.wantickets.com/Events/143443/Richie-Hawtin-STORY/
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN: Tickets bitches

WHAT:  Afternoon Poolside Le Baron X Vanity Project
EXPECT: Bikinis X “Piet Mondrian” inspired manicure
WHERE: Le Mondrian Poolside
RSVP: Guest List, Personal invitation
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN:  40 %

WHAT: LIFE AND DEATH AT BASEL BY PLOT
EXPECT: Existentialism, Dark Vibes, A DJ called Thugfucker
WHERE: The Vagabond
RSVP: http://www.residentadvisor.net/event.aspx?527464
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN: 100%

WHAT:  Chez Andre Miami Day 3
EXPECT: Andre Saraiva, boobs & booze…
WHERE: Rec Room, 1690 Collins Ave. @17TH
RSVP: Guestlists and tables here: Chez@StandardHotel.com
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN:  40 %

WHAT:  RAFT X KETEL ONE DE NOLET VIDEO ART, LIVE PERFORMANCE AND OPEN STUDIO ENVIRONMENT CURATED BY MONKEY TOWN
EXPECT: Vodka, Neon Indian (9-11pm), Josh, Franco V banging body, exploration of technological connectivity between the artist and his audience
WHERE: 75 NW 24TH ST WYNWOOD, MIAMI
RSVP: Guest List
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN:  30 %

Saturday December 7^th

WHAT: BASEL CASTEL
EXPECT: Been Trill, Brodinski, Karmaloop girls, big titties
WHERE: Grand Central Park
RSVP: http://baselcastle.com/info/#venuedirections
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN: 60%

WHAT:  Afternoon Poolside Le Baron X Linda Farrow 10th Birthday
EXPECT: Bikinis X banging bodies X cool sunglasses
WHERE: Le Mondrian Poolside
RSVP: Guest List, Personal invitation
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN:  40 %

WHAT:  PRINCE RAMA X KETEL ONE DE NOLET VIDEO ART, LIVE PERFORMANCE AND OPEN STUDIO ENVIRONMENT CURATED BY MONKEY TOWN
EXPECT: Vodka, Art dealing pieces of cake as a perforamence, Josh, Iluminati AMS (7-9pm), Kyp Malone (9pm – 11pm)
WHERE: 75 NW 24TH ST WYNWOOD, MIAMI
RSVP: Guest List
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN:  30 %

Sunday, December 8th

WHAT:  Afternoon Poolside Le Baron Closing Party
EXPECT: Bikinis X banging bodies X hangovers
WHERE: Le Mondrian Poolside
RSVP: Guest List, Personal invitation
CHANCES YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SNEAK IN:  40 %

EXPOSITIONS

Now, I know that a lot of us frequent Basel to take advantage of the innumerable parties that take place, but if you want to sound somewhat cultured at these parties you should take advantage of the expositions that will dominate Miami’s landscape.  Art Fairs and hangovers aren’t friends so I will enlighten you to some expositions taking place that will truly blow your mind and won’t interfere with your recovery from the night before.

G!lf X WYNWOOD WALLS

The Wynwood walls have been enriching the visual spectrum of Wynwood since 2009. Walls throughout this industrial district act as an open-air gallery and have featured some of the worlds most renowned gaffers. This year the show will feature entitled “ Women on the Walls” featuring original works from some of the world’s best street artists.  Keep an eye out for Bushwick- based artist G!lf,  and her work that conveys strong political dialogue and satire, it will make you laugh and cry at the same time.

http://www.gilfnyc.com/
http://thewynwoodwalls.com/

GLOW ALCHEMY CONCEPT SPACE

From Paris to Miami, Visual Arts brand GLOW will be coming to Art Basel to unleash their first collection entitled “ Alchemy”.   Their pop up concept space in Wynwood will feature several prints from their collection as well as massive instillation of their collection film.  Hungover, drunk, buzzing whatever it may be you won’t want to miss this opportunity to have your mind completely BLOWN by these masterminds of visual discourse.

http://gl-ow.com/
https://www.facebook.com/events/216631731842314/

David Gil –Pluridisciplinary artist exposing at Select Fair this year

EMPTY KINGDOM X SELECT FAIR

Ok, so I know I said I’d steer you away from art fairs but this one isn’t a convention center cluster fuck.  Empty Kingdom,  a company dedicated to pushing the limits of the art realm and is teaming up with Select Fair to expose emerging artists around from the globe.   The expo will be held in the infamous Catalina hotel, where each room will be transformed into personal galleries.   These guys are insane, non corporate and unconventional, get involved.

TIP:  Get your margarita “to go“ take a browse and then shuffle off to the beach close by for an afternoon cotch.

 http://www.emptykingdom.com/?s=ART+BASEL+MIAMI

COLETTE x ALCHEMIST DRIVE THRU

Oui  oui,  Colette will be coming to ABM 2013 and setting up a drive through in the parking lot of the Alchemist concept store, visitors can literarily drive up to the window and purchase a number of products developed by Colette and the Alchemist for the occasion.  POW!

THOMAS HOUSEAGO X Gagosian

Art Public at Art Basel Miami Beach will transform Miami’s Collins Park into an outdoor exhibition space with large-scale sculpture, video, installation, and live performance. Thomas Houseago will be exhibiting four works, including the monumental Striding Figure (Rome I) (2013).

Article: Nicole Rochette