wolfie jordan paris

Spending your 20’s at La Defense was not exactly the plan, but after watching Scorcese’s latest, you decided in the end not to quit your stockbroker job to start a high school rock n’ roll band and hit the road to California on Route 66. Even if you’re unfazed by standing 12 hours in front of 3 screens, you’ve given finance a second chance for a new life project: becoming a druggie/sex addict/banker wanker.

Well we’re here to help you! Here’s what you should do (or pretend to do) to keep that 80’s Wall Street dream alive

1. Dressing sharp
Where: Fly straight to Napoli for a Rubinacci suit
What: Custom made suits… doing coke.
When: As much as your closet can hold.
See also: If you’re too lazy to take the plane, try Brioni or Dandys.

rubinacci milano

2. Playing squash
Where: Cercle Interallié, 33 rue du Faubourg Saint Honoré
What: Letting your colleagues convince you to play squash like Michael Douglas at a private co-opted bullshit gentleman’s club.
When: Noon, beats the sushi break at your desk.
See also: Jeu de Paume, Paris Country Club, Squash Montmartre, Cercle


3. Wining and dining…
Where: Steaking, 3 rue Sabot 75006 Paris (brand spanking new)
What: Big juicy Wagyu steaks (thanks to Fukushima, no more Kobe) or a gigantic Angus Tomahawk steak, Japanese whiskey… doing coke.
When: Pre-party dinner, chain drinking whiskey, smoking cigars in the fumoir.
See also: L’Avenue

steakin paris rue sabot restaurant

4. Getting some booty at your local strip club
Where: Secret Square, 27 Avenue des Ternes, 75017
What: Take a bottle of Champagne and motorboat an Asian stripper between a TV football consultant and an ad agency boss… doing coke.
When: As much as possible… (dinner, business lunch, brunch, after a shag, for your daughter’s birthday…)
See also: Theatre Chochotte, The Penthouse Club, Club 41 (Denise left the house)

secret square paris strip clb

5. Going HAM, “Hard as a Motherfucker”
Where: 79 Club, 22 Rue Quentin-Bauchart, 75008
What: Models, hookers, magnums of champagne… doing coke.
When: Partying hard, pretending to spend your future yearly bonus, even though we all know that you’re never going to get it.
See also:Le Raspoutine, Le Matignon

79 club paris

6. Fucking hookers
Where: Le Meurice, 228 Rue de Rivoli, 75001
What: Exercise your bondage talents that you can’t practice at home… doing coke.
When: Between the moment you got wasted and the moment you go back to see your girlfriend or back to your flat by Opera for a quick nap before the stock market opening,
See also: Shangri La, Le Prince de Galles, Mandarin Oriental

le-meurice hotel paris