Spending your 20’s at La Defense was not exactly the plan, but after watching Scorcese’s latest, you decided in the end not to quit your stockbroker job to start a high school rock n’ roll band and hit the road to California on Route 66. Even if you’re unfazed by standing 12 hours in front of 3 screens, you’ve given finance a second chance for a new life project: becoming a druggie/sex addict/banker wanker.
Well we’re here to help you! Here’s what you should do (or pretend to do) to keep that 80’s Wall Street dream alive
1. Dressing sharp
Where: Fly straight to Napoli for a Rubinacci suit
What: Custom made suits… doing coke.
When: As much as your closet can hold.
See also: If you’re too lazy to take the plane, try Brioni or Dandys.
2. Playing squash
Where: Cercle Interallié, 33 rue du Faubourg Saint Honoré
What: Letting your colleagues convince you to play squash like Michael Douglas at a private co-opted bullshit gentleman’s club.
When: Noon, beats the sushi break at your desk.
See also: Jeu de Paume, Paris Country Club, Squash Montmartre, Cercle
3. Wining and dining…
Where: Steaking, 3 rue Sabot 75006 Paris (brand spanking new)
What: Big juicy Wagyu steaks (thanks to Fukushima, no more Kobe) or a gigantic Angus Tomahawk steak, Japanese whiskey… doing coke.
When: Pre-party dinner, chain drinking whiskey, smoking cigars in the fumoir.
See also: L’Avenue
4. Getting some booty at your local strip club
Where: Secret Square, 27 Avenue des Ternes, 75017
What: Take a bottle of Champagne and motorboat an Asian stripper between a TV football consultant and an ad agency boss… doing coke.
When: As much as possible… (dinner, business lunch, brunch, after a shag, for your daughter’s birthday…)
See also: Theatre Chochotte, The Penthouse Club, Club 41 (Denise left the house)
5. Going HAM, “Hard as a Motherfucker”
Where: 79 Club, 22 Rue Quentin-Bauchart, 75008
What: Models, hookers, magnums of champagne… doing coke.
When: Partying hard, pretending to spend your future yearly bonus, even though we all know that you’re never going to get it.
See also:Le Raspoutine, Le Matignon
6. Fucking hookers
Where: Le Meurice, 228 Rue de Rivoli, 75001
What: Exercise your bondage talents that you can’t practice at home… doing coke.
When: Between the moment you got wasted and the moment you go back to see your girlfriend or back to your flat by Opera for a quick nap before the stock market opening,
See also: Shangri La, Le Prince de Galles, Mandarin Oriental